My nipple is on Facebook.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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