My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
