Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
