i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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