she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my shit smells like andre
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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