And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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