she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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