I need to stop coming to work sober
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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