Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize