i may or may not be watching the land before time
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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