Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
