He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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