I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
