I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
