sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Come see our sink grown plant.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
