you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
