It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
