he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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