Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
