And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
