remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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