We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
