I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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