Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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