butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
