I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
