11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
only you would photoshop your dick
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
