dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
