Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
