I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize