is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
