the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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