Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
operation have a gay friend backfired
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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