Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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