While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize