just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
