I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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