i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
