So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
