eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
