VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
