I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
