im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
