i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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