can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
