Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
