oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
