if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Ladies don't puke and tell
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize