I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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