But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
