Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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