that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
