can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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