I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
