K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
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