I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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