quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize