Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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