i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
