so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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