and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
