If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
