The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
