I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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