So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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