That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
