eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
